'Papa...my guide to life and the here after.'

I was barely 4 years old in 1993 when a pair of blue jeans and a white shirt drenched in blood came home. Papa, widely known as Er. Iqbal Ahmad among his colleagues, friends, and acquaintances, had met with an accident, a horrible one. It took him more than six months to get up from bed and walk. He used support but never lost hope. I was too young to understand things back then. He survived! He lived…he moved on.

November 2013, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

More of a second life it was. Since then, I have never seen him give up. I remember my first day at school. I was writing my entrance exam, and all the while Papa was waiting there, out in the corridor. I didn’t realize his presence then.

Time passed.. I grew up, finished my education. He still taught me, taught me a lot, a lot... through his words and actions. He taught me from his past experiences. He taught me from his everyday events. He lived the cleanest life anyone could have. I realized all this after he was gone. Papa was the most beautiful human being I knew of. No, not saying this as a son.. but as an individual who lived with him.

May 2016, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

I still remember one of his many teachings.. and that was to live a clean life. A life that when you die, you die in peace, without any worries, without any materialistic desires. He practiced what he preached, and his death was an example for me. One of his other points I would never forget is that he once told me, ‘Have a character such that even your enemy comes up to you when he needs the best of advice’. He never thought wrong or bad of anyone. He just couldn’t. He wasn’t made for this world, I feel. He would go out of the way to help people. Even when he was suffering ‘a minor stroke’, he had gone out in the rain to help this man who was in need and whom Papa had barely known. (I said suffering because he was in pain at the time, and it was later on after the checkup that we came to know what it was).

Moreover, he was the most upfront and blunt human being. He could never lie or fake things. Not even to us, his kids. One of the many reasons he couldn’t do business at any point in his life. Be it in 1983, 1986, 1996, 1998, 2003, 2005, 2010, 2011, or the latest being in 2015. After all, being blunt and too clear in financial dealings never help you in this world. He tried his luck in various businesses but failed because he couldn’t compromise his ethics, morals, and values. He was the most successful failure I know of. This is the best thing I learned from him: never, ever compromise on your morals, be it what it may. And work as hard as you can, giving your best, and then rely on Allah, the Supreme Lord, to handle your things. If He wills, it would happen. If He doesn’t, well and good.

He was the cleanest and most crystal-clear human being of my life. I don’t think I would ever meet a man so clear, so transparent in dealings.

He cared much more than he showed. He was a different kind of father... someone who just didn’t want to lose his children (the only worldly thing he was attached to). Someone who would literally feed each and every one of his children by hand. Someone who wouldn't ask us to eat every time he ate, but would instead scold us and feed us right then and there. Treating my eldest sister the same as he treated her daughter. Both, according to him, were babies. I could see the love and joy in his eyes every time I landed at the airport. He would come hours before the flight and wait for us. He was indeed the most loving father anyone could have. 

Last year, I had an operation, a serious one. He couldn’t make it to the hospital in Mumbai with me for some reason back in Riyadh. My sister, who was here with him all the time in Riyadh, told me later that he was very patient all the while, miles away, and had been praying continuously for me. As soon as the doctor had declared me fine and the operation a success, he burst into tears. This broke me inside out. I had never realized how much he loved me, he cared for me, or was bothered about my well-being. Being the elder one, I could never express my love for him during his life like my younger siblings, but that didn’t mean I loved him any less. I still do and always will.

He loved talking and discussing politics and Islam. Another reason why I loved poking him on these issues. He would go on and on and on about these topics, and I loved learning from him this way. His ideas, thoughts, and views on Islam and the world were so comprehensible. He was no less than a teacher, professor, scholar, guide, and whatnot to me and would always be. I am short of words. I can never express completely what I feel. All I can say is…what I am today and what my views are are all a part of his teachings. Probably just a percentage of what I could take during his lifetime. So less time and so much to learn. But then, we plan, and Allah plans, and He is the best of planners. Papa’s test period is over. His result has been decided, his account of deeds closed. He is no more, but he has left behind him an amazing number of friends whom I consider everything now. To name a few, Husain uncle and Hafiz uncle; these men are the ‘oceans of knowledge’ as Papa used to say, and I know that when I need to learn anything, I would turn to them, without a doubt, without a thought. Thank you both for being there when I needed you the most. May Allah shower his choicest blessings on both of you.

I was proud of him as my father, and I hope he is proud of me as his son. I hope I do all that he desired and all that he wanted me to.

Papa, I assure you that I will never let you down and be upright like you in all my dealings. InshaAllah.

I pray that you welcome me, my siblings, and all of your dear ones in Jannah with open arms.